It’s Not in the Doing

Rasheeda Winfield is one of eight Dream Pod Members in Goldenwood’s 2020-21 Dream Forum. This is the second installment of our #InsidetheDreamPod series. Find out more about Rasheeda’s dream, Permission to Fly, following her recent reflections below:

After months (or more like years if I’m honest) of dreaming about what it would be like to create a program or some type of initiative to champion women of color in entertainment and media on a grand scale, getting “accepted” into the Dream Forum felt like a first tangible step towards making this dream a reality. I’ve long crayed (that’s not a typo btw, it’s a term I’ve coined for crying/praying = craying ;)) to God for help, structure, and guidance to make it happen. I was fired up, ready to go, guns a-blazing for His kingdom! Just ready to kick butt and take names…all for Jesus of course!

Yet today, I find myself completely shocked by how these last few months have transpired.  I mean, sure, I’ve made “progress” towards the dream…like getting clear about whether this would lead to the formation a non-profit or B corporation, doing research with the very women who I’d be supporting with this dream, ideating about what studios to partner with, etc.

Blah blah blah.

I say “blah blah blah” because I could go on and on about all the things I think I’ve accomplished thus far to build this dream. My default has always been to strive, borderline “attack” my work, but I’m starting to see that He’s teaching me to operate on a different frequency with Him. 

It’s occurred to me that God really isn’t impressed with how much I’ve checked off my dream’s “to do” list.

It’s honestly occurred to me that God isn’t really checking to see how far I’ve advanced this dream. It’s occurred to me that He really isn’t impressed with how much I’ve checked off my dream’s “to do” list. It’s occurred to me that what if I, and the other Dreamers who I have the honor of dreaming with, are actually the dreams that God is building through the Dream Forum? Rather than advancing our dreams, what if we are the dreams and God’s advancing us? When I look at the words “Dream Forum,” I suddenly see the letters rearranged: “Dream Form U”. (Cue crying emoji.)

It’s not in the doing, it’s in the being. Being present with Him. Allowing Him to lead the way. He’s filled my heart with so much hope in these last few months. I’ve been ministered to in personal areas of my life that I thought I had already done the “soul work” to heal from. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by what He’s doing. I’m letting Him fly this plane and perhaps the journey truly is the destination. 

About Rasheeda’s Dream: Since childhood, I dreamed of working in entertainment. Several years, sleepless nights and ugly cries later, I eventually “made it” and found myself working for one of the biggest TV networks on the planet and reveling in all the accoutrements that came with my fancy career. Yet, my “dream job” did not translate to my “dream life” and I burnt out. I’ve been haunted by the struggles I faced as an ambitious, naïve woman trying to build a career in an industry not designed for someone who looks like me, to flourish. My new dream is to develop a mentorship/fellowship program for women of color pursuing careers in media and entertainment by providing them with Christ-centered spiritual guidance, financial support, and various career development resources. Contact me at: rasheedatv@gmail.com