In cultivating my dream, I’ve learned that it takes more than just one dreamer to make a thing happen. I’ve learned the power of a community and regular rhythms to keep a dream alive, like oxygen and the fanning of flames to keep a fire burning when it’s just getting started. I’ve learned it takes discipline and commitment in order to not forget the need or feel overwhelmed and make excuses that maybe someone else will do this better.
I’ve found comfort in the reminder that dreams are received and not achieved. This liberates me from the ideas that can easily be discouraging about not being as far along in my dream fruition process as I would like to be. Most of my obstacles have been around managing time and juggling life demands – raising young kids, finishing up a Masters program, and staying connected to the things that keep me grounded and sane, mainly my faith and my friends.
In early March of this year, my cousin was taken at the hands of her former boyfriend. This tragic loss took my breath away and it’s still hard to believe it actually happened. My mind has been spinning trying to think of what could have been done to prevent this violence and the loss of her life. I keep wondering what can be learned from this. I’m still in a bit of a fog and wish I could say I’ve had a big epiphany, but that’s not true. This is something I’m still wrestling through and I’m not sure it will ever make sense because it was a senseless act that never should have been. What I do know is that the work of changing the culture and understanding around partner violence is not optional, it’s a necessity. And I will continue the work of thinking through these issues and how we, as a culture, can grow empathy for those who are suffering in violent relationships.
Crystal Choi is one of eight Dream Pod Members in Goldenwood’s 2022 Dream Forum. This reflection is part of Goldenwood’s #InsidetheDreamPod series.
About Crystal’s dream: My dream is to help those who are currently experiencing or have experienced domestic violence. My hope is to equip and empower women so they can make decisions based on knowledge/power and not fear. To provide practical and culturally sensitive care to help women find housing, jobs, legal, counseling, and spiritual and social support. Contact me at: shilohhouseofpeace@gmail.com