“Are you sure you want me?”

Amanda Eubanks is a mother of four and one of eight Dream Pod Members in Goldenwood’s 2020-21 Dream Forum. This first entry kicks off our #InsidetheDreamPod series. Find out more about Amanda’s dream, Wellness Discipleship Network, following her recent reflections below:

The redemption of some of the deepest pain and need in my life resides in my dream, the faithfulness of God that interrupted my brokenness now turned outward because I want the same for others. The story of the brokenness alone begs the question:, “Who am I to be the one to carry this forward? Are you sure you want me?” I feel like the most unlikely candidate to carry this dream forward. Biblical history reflects similar feelings by many others, uncertainty borne out of their own places of brokenness and pain. Each responds with hesitations but with a “yes” nevertheless. The love of God tethered their hearts to His faithfulness told in stories passed down by generations. I find myself similarly anchored in these same stories.

The immediate response to my dream was a mixture of fear, excitement, and feeling completely out of my league. How can I do something that feels so impossibly large? How will I have time? Does this dream even matter to other people? The list of questions can become infinitely long, but the voice of God has proven to be infinitely more comforting than the answers to those questions. His invitation is to come and see. Behold the God who dreams of abundantly more than I could imagine. Be loved. Catch the vision, then run without fainting after the Creator of it all.

We are invited to exchange demand for delight in the economy of God as He carries the work forward with us and intermingles the dream into the rhythms of our days.

The joy of the dream has been found in the quiet place, hidden in the heart of God and intended for delighted discovery like a scavenger hunt. This adventure of delight is juxtaposed with the busyness of everyday life and the list of demands that make up my daily schedule. Where I have felt the sting and rush of deadlines, I am offered an invitation to linger as I walk with the Lord instead. Where voices are constantly expecting or needing something from me, the voice of God breathes life into dry places, filling in the places that feel lacking. Where I once saw problems and obstacles, I now sit in an expansive world of limitless possibilities with a Father eager to teach and work with me. We are invited to exchange demand for delight in the economy of God as He carries the work forward with us and intermingles the dream into the rhythms of our days.

Daily decisions made in delight are the carved footpath for the dreamer, a pathway lovingly illuminated by the Lord each step of the way. As the initial excitement of the dream wears off, the opposition of the dream at times feels discouraging in this in-between place. His love carries us across the high mountains and through the depths of the valleys. We carry in our dreams the kingdom of God, advancing into the world as a lighthouse of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living that all too often feels like a landscape of death and destruction. The monochromatic doldrums of the world transform before our eyes. We begin to see vibrant colors and hear melodies of hope as we build this upside down kingdom of love together with the Lord.

His dreams change our priorities, the ways we speak and act, and ultimately the ways we love. Love becomes our eyes…

My heart races at the thought of the “finished product” of the dream. God’s dream has been realized in every small step, though. Receiving a dream from the Lord is not merely a list for project management given to us by God. Instead, He invites us to imagine the world the way He envisions it in every small moment. His dreams change our priorities, the ways we speak and act, and ultimately the ways we love. Love becomes our eyes, enabling us to see people the way that God sees: sons and daughters of God to be revealed to the world in glorious freedom, heirs to a kingdom that will not be shaken, chosen people created to proclaim His goodness as we dream with Him (Romans 8:19, Hebrews 12:28, 1 Peter 2:9). Love sings a new song, resonating hope in the depths of our heart that brings forth joy in the midst of brokenness.

As we are invited to receive the dreams from the heart of God, we are welcomed to the quiet place of communing with Him, searching out His heart, and knowing His great love. We find His love in community with others as we run alongside each other, bringing refreshment to weary brothers and sisters as well as reminding them of what God has said. To draw from a gardening analogy, tomatoes not only grow well with basil planted next to them, but the tomatoes produce a greater yield in the end because of their companion basil plant. How much more do we need a companion to walk alongside us as we dream with the Lord to help repel the lies and encourage us in the daily walking out of these dreams?

One of the greatest joys of this journey through the Dream Pods for me has been to have a front row seat for the dreams of my friends who are all building the kingdom of God where they live with what they have in their hands and their hearts. Each of our dreams are built on the same foundation of love, radiating light like a city on a hill to a world desperate for hope and hungering for peace. May each of our dreams illuminate the darkness with the love of a Father who transforms brokenness into a radiant realization of our wildest imaginations.

About Amanda’s Dream: Discipleship was not intended to exist solely in the vacuum of a church building. Jesus’ command to make disciples impacts every sphere of society and every part of our communal and individual lives. My passion is to help people live wholehearted lives that enable them to love and serve their communities with the love of God. My dream is to create a collaborative network of wellness professionals who collectively listen to the Spirit and offer resources and services that enable others to flourish physically, mentally, relationally, and spiritually. The strengths of each professional will create a cross-disciplinary network that facilitates growth in personal wellness in order to more fully love God and others. Contact me at: amaeubanks@gmail.com